How are you moving through life?

When my goals aren't reflecting my values.

The common advice for better life balance is to “say no” to more things. Look at your calendar and start cleaning it up, remove the excess. And while I love a good calendar audit, I think it is more complicated than a quick calendar assessment. In my experience, misalignment in how you feel about your time comes from discontent between your priorities and your values. And let’s face it, our tendency is to usually prioritize productivity over anything else, and therein lies the tension.

When I’m home, I am constantly cleaning up - there’s always something to clean, dishes to do, laundry to be folded, or something to be put away. There’s also usually at least one, if not four, kids to play with, help, or support. When I’m outside of the home, I’m driving to/from school pick-ups or kids activities, volunteering at school, or running errands, thinking through logistics to make it all make sense.

But lately (or let’s face it, probably my whole life), I have had a singular goal in mind: how can I structure my day to get the most done? Productivity was the focus. Productivity is great - I love the feeling of accomplishing things and getting stuff done, but when I step back and think about what I value in my life, “being productive” isn’t actually ranking high on that list.

What I value is kindness, curiosity, joy, family, and action. But how can I be curious if I am rushing to the next thing? How can I practice joy if I do not notice all the goodness around me? What can I do to show kindness if I am solely focused on what I need to do next?

There is a tangible need to look at our schedule and ask, do we have too much doing and not enough living? I share some questions below to help you evaluate that for yourself. There’s a second examination, though: Are we walking through our days with intention and presence where we are at, or are we focused on the act of getting them done?

I hate to say it, but this usually does take some time and reflection. It takes time to identify our values on a macro level, but it also takes time throughout the day to reset your goal so it aligns with your values. Whether you are home with your kids, in back-to-back meetings for work, or doing the dance of this to this to that, it’s being present and aware of our goals for this time. Maybe our goal is to get the bathroom clean, get that project done, and get the kids to soccer - if that aligns with your values, then it will feel good to do those things.

We all want it to be simple, to make a one-time decision, but moving through life is a dynamic, ever-evolving choice. My hope is that we can all practice presence by showing up in a way that reflects our own unique values and celebrating others when they are living their unique values.

How are you walking through life?

Questions for you on your time, your goals, and your values.